Dear ________,

Dear ________,
I do like to pass the day with you in serious and inconsequential chatter.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Things I'd Tell Myself


Dear Jade,

Do you ever wish you could go back in time and tell your younger self something you know now? Like...

Age 6: Don’t pick your nose in the school play. Just because it’s not your line doesn’t mean no one can see you.
 
Age 7: Don’t be so sad that Ms. Maximitz yelled at you. She’s a bitch who hates her life.

Age 8: Don’t fart at your piano teacher’s house because she is an old British lady, and she will be appalled by your barbaric upbringing.

Age 9: Don’t watch the Sixth Sense. It will ruin your life.

Age 10: Don’t be upset about changing schools. It’ll be one of the best things that’s ever happened to you.

Age 11: Let mom put you in dance classes.

Age 12: Don’t wear make-up.

Age 13: Be nicer to people you don’t like.  Also be nicer to mom.

Age 14: The pimples will go away.

Age 15: You will one day look back and grimace at those webcam photos. Do not put them on the internet.

Age 16: Avoid that ice puddle. You will have a devastating fall in the middle of downtown Ottawa and you won’t be able to move for five minutes.

Age 17: Appreciate your friends more. A year from now you won’t get to see them every day.

Age 18: Switch out of morning classes. They will make your life miserable.

Hopefully when I’m 40, this is what I would tell my 19-year-old self: Don’t worry. Everything will turn out just fine.

Love,
Cindy

Saturday, January 22, 2011

To eat

Dear Cindy,

I too have pressing lists of readings, assignments, and papers I'll hopefully someday check off my to-do list. This is probably something I should refrain from revealing to maintain a semblance of normalcy or sanity, but I've actually composed a typed, eight-page to do-list of all things I must complete this semester. Excessive? Yes, I know. It's organized by course and by week... so I can see how far I will inevitably fall behind. Although it may end up covered in stray hairs and forgotten by the end of the semester, a to-do list is useful because it's temporarily inspirational and empowering.

Whenever I sit down to slay a stack of readings, I find my thoughts consumed by the possibilities of both sweet and savoury snacks. Visions of chocolate profiteroles, cheese-drenched anything, and ice cream smothered apple pies dance in my head. Studying makes my mouth water. It's some sort of Pavlovian response: as soon as I sit down at my desk, my mind can't help but wander, and my stomach's desires triumph.

I found this sinful but delightful recipe for Oreo-stuffed chocolate chip cookies on BeckyBakes. This blogger proclaims, "life is uncertain - eat dessert first!" This is a mantra I can certainly identify with, and these cookies seem the perfect way to satisfy a sweet tooth!

Maybe it's some ancient instinct to store up before hibernation, but winter always leaves me craving an abundance of less than healthy treats. I guess eating is a good way to continuously stay warm when the temperature dips below minus 25! Last night I braved the cold and hit up Igloofest, which is a month-long outdoor music concert in Montreal! It was like a playground for drunk university students. There were awesome ice-beds, fireplaces, sculptures, and free marshmallows to roast! I rocked so many layers that I achieved a Michelin tire man look and managed to stayed toasty all night!


I just thought I'd sign off with this lovely quote:

“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.” -- John Burroughs 

I guess it's okay if our checklists remain incomplete, I'm sure we're doing something more worthwhile? We're probably doing the things we'll remember most when we look back.

Love,
Jade

Saturday, January 15, 2011

To Do

Dear Jade,

Since coming to university, I can’t get through a day without making several to-do lists. I can’t decide if it’s because I have more things to do nowadays, or if it’s because I’ve become more of a scatterbrain. Either way, as soon as I think of an errand to run or a phone call to make or a reading to read, I have to write it down right away, or else the thought escapes me, and I can't re-remember it until it’s too late and I’ve already missed a doctor’s appointment and my mom thinks I don’t love her anymore.

It’s become quite an urgent matter actually. My thoughts are so fleeting that, sometimes, by the time I find a piece of paper and a pen, I’ve forgotten what it is I needed to do. This scares me a little. What if I think the most brilliant thought in the world and I don’t have time to write it down, and next thing I know, I can’t even remember it? 

It’s like playing a game of tag...but with my own brain and I'm not having any fun. I think I need to take up yoga or something to de-clutter my mind. Or maybe I need to see a shrink.

Anyways, here is an example of one of my typical to-do lists.


Notice how the easiest, most enjoyable tasks are crossed off first, leaving the important ones woefully untouched. Also notice how less than half the items are crossed off. I think this provides some pretty keen insight into my life. You know, something about ambition outstripping action.

I think it’d be fun to stash away all my to-do lists somewhere and look back at them years from now and wonder, or maybe laugh, at all the pressing things I needed to do. “Wow,” I’d think, “Those were my young and carefree days.”

But I’m not there yet, and from where I’m standing, it sure seems like I have a lot of pressing things to do.

Love,
Cindy

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

hold the burger, please


Dear Cindy,

Don’t get me wrong. I always crave my grandma’s spare ribs. McDonald’s $1.39 burgers, you are soo bad but sooo good. Sizzling bacon, you are music to my ears. Rack of lamb, get at me.
However, being in a program in environment and learning about the ecological footprint and food scarcity problems associated with consuming meat has made it impossible for me to eat it without my enjoyment being eliminated by waves of guilt.

A meat-based diet increases our resource demands, degrades the environment, and pollutes the air and water. What I’ve learned that has struck me most about a meat-based diet is that the amount of land used to feed one meat eater could feed twenty vegetarians. This is because more than half of the world’s cropland is used to grow livestock feed. Of the world’s grain, 38% is fed to livestock. 
In the United States alone, while 66% of cropland is used for livestock, a mere 2% is used to grow vegetables for human consumption. If everyone in the world ate like your average American, scientists approximate that the world would be able to support a  maximum human population of 2.5 billion, and oil reserves would be depleted within twelve years.

There is enough food in the world to feed everyone on a basic vegetarian diet, but the more people there are eating meat, the fewer people the planet will be able to support. Currently, malnutrition and under-nutrition affect 1.3 billion people. Every five to ten days, hunger related issues are responsible for about 150 000 deaths. That’s about the same death toll as Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
The majority of the world are nowhere nearly as lucky as North Americans.

About two-thirds of people are mostly vegetarian; if everyone were vegetarian, it is estimated that oil reserves would last another 260 years. There would be more resources to go around.
Meat-based diets use the bulk of agricultural fossil fuel, water, pesticide, and fertilizer inputs. For example, for every gram of pork you want to produce, you need 146 grams of feed. Massive inputs of water are required to grow that feed. A person that switches from eating meat to being vegetarian saves 5.3 million litres of water per year.
It is simply far more efficient to eat lower on the food chain. This goes back to basic biology: energy conversions are inefficient, and about 90% of the energy at each trophic level is lost. When we feed crops to animals instead of people, some of that food is simply expelled, some is used in respiration and lost as heat, and only some of the energy even assimilated into the bloodstream is used to build protein. Of the crop energy we put into producing livestock, we end up consuming only a fraction.

The soil erosion and loss of soil fertility, desertification from overgrazing, water stress and pollution, the loss of biodiversity due to habitat loss, and the health risks associated with pesticides are only the beginning of an extensive host of environmental issues associated with meat-based industrial agriculture.
Since October, I’ve decided that being a pescetarian is the attainable middle ground between eating meat and being vegetarian. Fish represents a much more efficient conversion of grains to animal proteins. It doesn’t seem like it would accomplish that much by simply cutting out meat, but it’s the most significant way a single person can reduce their impact on the environment and their carbon footprint.

To see what you can do, check out this sweet website we had to visit for one of my environment classes. It lets you calculate your ecological foot print and shows small ways you can make improvements.
It’s something you can be optimistic about, because it’s all about small changes that precipitate the larger changes you want to see.

I don’t think we need to run away and be hippies together. Not yet.

But it’s a romantic thought.

Love,

Jade

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Mustachios!

Dear Jade,

Way to see the silver lining! I hope this blog will be of aid to you as you dedicate yourself to the testing lifestyle of the true procrastinator.

For Secret Santa this year, I was thrilled to receive a box of moustache band-aids. Now, if I ever cut my upper lip in some obscure accident, I’ll have the perfect remedy. I think I look quite dashing with facial hair.
                   



Although peeling them off is no walk in the park. 


I’ve been thinking lately about your admirable decision to become a pescetarian and wondering what I can change about myself to live in a way that is more commensurate with my values. Every day of my liberal arts education, I become more aware of the destructive consequences of unfettered consumerism. A year and a half in, I can no longer pretend that my clothes, my electronics, and my food do not have human and environmental costs.

But with all the problems in the world, it seems impossible not to contribute to them without adopting a hunter-gatherer lifestyle, which I am neither rugged nor insane enough to attempt.

So, how to go about decreasing world-shitiness? A question worth pondering, I think.

Is it better to reduce your footprint by rejecting societal norms and leading a subversive, hippy-esque lifestyle? Or is it better to tacitly support a destructive system in order to become a respected businessman, lawyer, or journalist, at which point you can fight for your cause and others will actually listen?

And then there’s the question of doing something that you actually like--something that makes you happy without decreasing the happiness of countless others.

Or maybe I just need to focus on getting a job and making enough money to sustain myself before I start contemplating such lofty matters.

Hmm.

Jade, let me know if you ever want to run off and become a hippy.

Love,
Cindy

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I think I'll procrastinate now.


Dear Cindy,

In the promise of each new semester, I always hope one thing will be different. I tell myself this time I’ll finally stop procrastinating. Experiences of a bleary-eyed and delirious shell of my former self, shrouded in layers of fleece blankets and nervously willing the clock’s hands to tick backwards, will be distant memories. I’ll never torture myself with the cacophonous horrors of the library closing bell. However beautiful a sunrise may be, I cross my fingers that I’ll never witness another while hunched over my desk, wiping away drool. And why suffer the long-lasting emotional trauma of facing a 36 item to-do list with only 7 hours and 14 minutes and 32 seconds (I’d be keeping track, obviously) until the inevitable doom of a deadline come too soon?

Procrastinate this year? Me?
Despite my best intentions, procrastination conquers all.

This semester, I have a new approach. 

I’ll embrace procrastination. 

I’ll celebrate its ability to intimately acquaint myself with the serenity of being the only one awake. I’ll savour the opportunity it provides to happily munch my way through 2... 3... 5... 7 o’clock in the morning! I’ll relish the thrill of printing an essay 17 minutes before it’s due. 

Extensive personal research has proven that the rewards of writing a paper single-spaced first to make the double-spaced result more climactic induce exponentially more intense euphoria when performed in a single night.

Deadlines are cruel and unforgiving: Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” principle applies. Mounting pressure and looming deadlines force creative genius and inspiration to avoid being selected out. I’m certain my greatest work has actually been accomplished in the least available time.

If procrastination is positively correlated with greater academic success, here are my five favourite techniques for boosting my GPA:

1. Instead of taking notes in lecture, it’s far better for personal growth and improvement to read every headline on every newspapers’ website you’ve ever heard of. Why learn course material now when you can cram the entire course in 48 sleepless hours before your final? I’ve never tried this, but perhaps this semester I’ll prevent my prof’s voice from distracting me  from keeping up with current events by bringing earplugs!

2. Friends are essential to survival, but no one will be your friend unless you maintain a basic level of personal hygiene. When I sit down at my desk, I think clipping my nails and plucking my eyebrows is always a much more urgent imperative than studying.

3. Open and close your fridge door. Check your freezer. Nothing exciting? Open your fridge door again. It’s important to repeat this procedure every 12 minutes or so. You never know what exciting foods may magically appear!

4. Instead of downloading lectures slides, go on TED TALKS! It offers streaming of hundreds of talks on extraordinarily complex ideas concisely presented in the most simple and understandable yet simultaneously innovative and engaging ways possible. Speakers include Al Gore, Jane Goodall, and Bill Clinton! You’ll be far smarter without really putting in any time or effort.

5. Finally, why deprive yourself of sleep? That’s what finals are for! Maximize beauty rest and save that all-nighter for tomorrow!

Successful completion of steps 1 through 5!
I hope these sure-fire tips for success make your transition back to classes a little gentler!


I miss you already.

Love,
Jade

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A New Year

Dear Jade,

This year I’m taking a new approach to the New Year’s resolution. Here are some of the goals I’m committing myself to in 2011:

1. I will go to the gym at least once a week in January and then tell myself “I’ll make it up next week” in February and get hopelessly sidetracked by schoolwork in March and eventually forget the whole thing in April because the stupid rec centre is too far away and I do a lot of walking to and from class anyways.

2. I will get more involved in school by going to clubs week and signing up for some clubs and going to their first meetings and finding out that their second meetings conflict with classes and that their third meetings conflict with study dates and that their fourth meetings conflict with pre-scheduled naps, and that their fifth meetings are so far into the year that they probably forget who I am so there’s no point in going.

3. I will stop procrastinating and stay on top of all my work for a full two weeks and be really optimistic about my new improved study habits and then get bogged down by essays and fall behind in readings and eventually ditch them altogether because the whole thing is rigged and it’s not humanly possible to finish all your work on time without moving to a remote monastery in Ireland and being fed through a tube.

4. I will do laundry every week because cleanliness is an integral part of a healthy lifestyle, but it is slightly less important than studying and eating and maintaining friendships so I may have to put it off for a few days or a few weeks and I might re-wear shirts a couple of times because in the grand scheme of things who really cares, and clean clothes are overrated anyways.

5. I will spend the year finding out new things about myself, making mistakes, making strides, and making memories with the people I love.

I think this year I will finally be able to achieve them all. Get at me 2011!

Happy New Year,
Cindy

 Ah the infinite possibilities of a new year. What's next?